DS9 1X16 “If Wishes Were Horses”
I am about as impressed with this episode as Rumplestiltskin looks in this photo, which is to say, not very.
The plot is basically thus:
1. Odo is cranky. Bashir is disappointed Dax still doesn’t want to go out with him, even though he’s flirting with anything else that moves, and Dax considering you a “wonderful friend” is actually a huge f*cking compliment.
2. Crew members’ dreams come to life. That means Rumplestiltskin appears after O’Brien reads Molly a bedtime story, Sisko’s favourite baseball player Buck Bokai turns up, and Bashir wakes up next to his dream sex-kitten version of Dax. Betcha can guess which part I had the biggest issue with.
3. Spatial anomaly threatens to destroy the station. No one connects that to the presence of the dream people/figments.
4. Sisko realizes the anomaly is also a dream and everyone just needs to stop believing it.
5. Figments are actually aliens trying to learn more about human imagination. Buck Bokai alien gives Sisko a baseball and refuses to give us any other information (This does not satisfy me!). The end.
Before I get into the fantasy Dax discussion, I’ll highlight a couple other things that bug me about this episode.
- I find it really disappointing that we get to see Quark’s fantasy girls AND Bashir’s fantasy girl but we never get to see anything from Dax’s or Kira’s imagination. Basically we get a peek into the minds of five men (Sisko, Bashir, O’Brien, Quark, and a tiny bit of Odo) and for two of them that means imagining submissive women ready to please them.